This "open letter" may be to you - it may not be to you. Only Christ can answer that question for you. If you ask anyone else, especially yourself, about these things, however, you'll probably get wrong answers.
I fight a dangerous and wily adversary who has for millennia concocted and enacted multiple layers of deceit designed to ensnare unwary followers of Christ - you mock and ridicule and ignore a "toothless old tiger" and demonstrate mostly that you are simply another unwary follower of Christ. You think the demonic is only involved in blatant evil and visible destruction (like drug abuse or Satan worship) - I know he traffics most in the subtle "white" lies that make us feel better about ourselves. You've even recognized and come out of the subtle "white" lie called "church" but you have yet to see how long you were under the demonic's control while you were there and what other things they have done to you (from even before your stay in "church") that you don't even know about yet.
I see and smell the death in the "church," that baby mutilation factory - you know about it's pagan roots and many things that are wrong with the "church" because you've read about them in a book. You hate it because of what it's done to you - I hate it because of what it is, an affront to the Lordship of the King Christ Jesus, and that all of it is practiced in His name as if He were the author and instigator of the "church."
I know that I am incapable of initiating anything of eternal value so I wait for the King and Lord to direct my efforts - you are motivated by self to kill the "church" or at least to rescue anyone who will "come out" and join you and be a "Christian" like you. Would anyone really want to be a "Christian" like you? Look closely at your life as if you were an outsider fresh off the street looking in on your life for the very first time before you answer this one. Then make a list of the reasons why you believe anyone would truly want to be a "Christian" like you. Is that list based on your culture or on the Scriptures?
You "build" any time you want to - I wait for the Lord's timing and for Him to provide me with real opportunity, genuine tools and solid building materials. You think that God needs you to build His kingdom and body - though God may indeed use me or direct me in any way He chooses, I know that any "God" who needs me to build His kingdom, to attend meetings, to "preach the Gospel," etc. is a false "God" manufactured according to the traditions of men or the teachings of demons - in a word, a "God" created in the likeness of the "church's" "God."
I live a surrendered life (as best I'm aware) of endurance of wilderness testings - you ridicule those who speak of the wilderness and simply give evidence that you've never been in the wilderness yourself. What then can you really know of the wilderness, it's necessity or it's benefits? Sure, you've been wounded in the house of Christ's "friends" - but you've never been truly healed of those wounds by the testings of the wilderness. Love's soldiers must first be wounded and then completely healed before they can fight the real fight.
I live in a culture that collects expensive toys and baubles of little use and boasts of its fine recipes and spends more money on its pets than on many of its people and more discussion is given to the latest trash on cablevision than to issues of substance and I wish the filth and superficiality were dead - you have your collections and you like talking about recipes and you pamper your pets and you watch your TV and thus you show that you approve of the neglect practiced on and by so many. Lack of intent does not change the results of your actions.
And though one may not like the sound of testings and persecution, those are the "price" we must pay to attain to eternal life - this life is the genuine and the true life of following Christ. Anything else is merely feel-good, ear-scratching "church." Yours, my friend, quite honestly, is simply yet another American counterfeit.
The good news is, however, you still have time to repent and change and grow - though this will certainly mean some form of wilderness training that God alone knows how long it will last and how deep it will go. Will you be faithful or will you seek fame, fortune and the satisfaction of all or even some of your self's and flesh's desires to be important and significant to others?
Please forgive me if the brush I've painted with is just a little too broad in some spots - no one size ever fits all. Forgive me if I've failed somewhere to accurately read your heart and mind as I forgive you for your angry over-reactions to where I've hit your nail on the head. And may God be merciful to us all and continue to extend to us His grace so that we might all overcome all these things that keep us away from Him.
Let he who has ears hear.
I'd love to hear comments and/or questions from you! Email me!