It starts at birth. A child is born with little more than instincts, and no wisdom at all. Nothing is more selfish than a newborn baby, a god unto itself. It cries to get its needs met. In a short time, it will cry for its wants as well, and for a time, most of those will be met. But a by-now toddler has no idea why its demands begin to be withheld. With no wisdom, it will only understand its own selfish desires. But for its own good and safety plus peace in the household, law is put on the child. This brings anger, which turns into resentment, forming a root of bitterness.
This results in tantrums of either pouting or anger, or both. Those displays are met with punishment and/or shaming to stop them. From the beginning, the feeling of shame is something the child dislikes intensely, for it is the feeling of being worthy of rejection. The child comes to know that he is expected to conform to the authority’s expectations. Reluctantly, he begins to do so in order to not feel more rejected, and to at least get some of what he wants. But being a child, he is sure to stumble and the result is to come to think he is incapable of being “good” in the eyes of the authorities. This will strengthen the feelings of shame. He will come to believe in his heart that he is rejectable, and must cover that so no other can see what he thinks is true. But life must go on, and without even knowing it, the child will seek to find ways to get what it can, yet without being seen as shameful in his hidden selfishness.
The child will learn to stop the open tantrums which only bring shame when adults tell him to act his age. And indeed, the child will learn to act, no longer showing his true feelings. He will instead learn to manipulate to gain his desires. While this is going on, he will try to appear as acceptable as he knows how, thus avoiding rejection. This is the common pattern of a child. Yet not each is quite like another, for certain traits will make some seem more loveable than others, and vice-versa.
Nevertheless, every person’s tendencies are well established during the growing years. And all of them are set to get what they can while still being seen as acceptable. The little god within has not been done away with, but has only gone into hiding behind his act. This happens to every child, no matter whether his family is filled with love or otherwise.
While all the above goes on, another factor has been established. The child has learned to act on his emotions, always set on making himself feel better. This, of course, means his spirit has not come into the mix, and has been sent aside as if hidden in a small veiled room in his soul. His spirit is not able to bring wisdom out of all the experiences the child goes through. It has been quenched in the presence of unrighteousness, and the emotions have replaced it.
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