Let’s make an allegory to make easier understanding of the rest of this book. A child is born with a relatively empty mind. See it as full of information boxes waiting to be filled. As information comes in, it is filed in the appropriate subject box. It would be overwhelming to have to shuffle through all the information in a box each time a subject comes up. But our minds have the wonderful ability to come to overall conclusions, making that unnecessary. So it is like closing the information box and putting a label on it with the drawn conclusion written on it for that subject.
The unfortunate thing about being a child filling those boxes is that much of it is in error, formed by emotions. Some of this gets changed, but once the box is closed, it is seldom reexamined. This is especially so concerning opinions that came from personal hurts which would bring emotional pain again if replaced. The subjects of rejection and shame almost never get a relook. For most, it would bring self condemnation, since children take on the belief they are basically no good and are deserving of rejection.
During the stressful times when they had been disciplined, children found themselves brooding about their worth, and decided they were unworthy of love. But another thing occurs during those box filling times. Kids can take only so much self-condemnation before they find a way to turn it aside, for comfort’s sake. They find ways to shift the blame, if only in their own mind. They may say, “The milk spilled,” rather than taking responsibility for spilling it, as if the milk could do that itself. Or them may see the authority’s own faults and justify themselves that if parents also do wrong, “Then why do they always pick on me?” This relative comparison of wrong becomes a justification for the rest of their lives.
Complicating the matter is another way the boxes are filled. Sometimes, some of the same information is placed in different boxes, yet with a different conclusion label on each. This allows the child to conveniently change his position on a subject in order to make the point he wants to in a given case, depending on the emotion he feels at the time. This mind splitting is not even seen by him, as it has its settled justifications that are not likely to ever be reexamined. This will serve him well in future disputes and will keep him from ever losing an argument, at least from his own viewpoint.
This next subject is one of the most important things stored in the closed boxes. When feelings of rejection came, it made the child feel powerless and insignificant. During those times, all children made a vow that someday they would prove to everybody that they are significant. We may have even forgotten making those vows by the next day, but they still become our motivating drive. It is my intention to show just how powerful these vows were, and what they brought into our lives. In this writing, we will mention those vows here and there where they fit in. Then later in the book, we will pull it all together for clarification.
So the boxes get filled with partly erroneous information, and unfortunately, with self justification for the errors. These are foundations of knowledge for children, and the labels they put on the boxes will also give them a way of dismissing personal responsibility without considering the truth. It becomes a way of life to them, and even when confronted about a wrong, the labels can deflect the blame elsewhere. This automatically gives the ability to be blind to one’s own faults, as is common to man. It is also common for this way of life to go right on for the whole life, including after becoming a Chistian. Leaven. Iniquity.
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