God usually starts us out by exposing a rather simple iniquity, so we can see how to fight and win. Only after that will he allow us to face the big powerful demon giants, as we would not yet know how to fight them. Let me give a testimony here of my first fight with a giant within. I had no idea what the trial was all about, but somehow I trusted God to take me through it. He had already shown me several coincidences that I had acknowledged, so that step was in place from the start. Then He sent a large series of them that I kept handy in my heart, pondering them as I walked through the fire.
I had fallen in love with a lady in my church who worked in the same ministry I was in. It was obvious at first that she was also interested in me. We talked and flirted for some time, but then she began to show fear of me, and I didn’t know why. God then arranged a miraculous set of circumstances where our ministry leader, much to his dismay, had no choice but to tell me he had warned her that I was pursuing her for the wrong reasons. She had looked up to him as a father figure and sought his advice, it turns out. He liked that position with her, and was not going to let me take his place. I was only beginning to understand controlling spirits, and I saw that he had one.
Of course, I confronted him for not having honorably come to me to find out my intentions before he made such accusations. He could not admit wrong, and a stalemate developed. She was very important to me, so I tried many times to get him to understand me, and to tell her I was not a threat to her. Instead, he went to greater lengths to find me guilty of things from his imaginations. I persisted, and I suspect he feared the situation might come to be known throughout the church. He then went to many in leadership, supposedly to investigate me. But it was obvious he was doing it to get his version in place first, planting seeds of suspicion of me in them, in case the story got out.
When I confronted him for spreading the accusations, he was unreasonable and stood on his authority. He ordered me to neither approach the lady nor talk to her, unless she approached or talked to me first. And she was now too afraid of me to do either.) As soon as he said that, I heard the still, small voice of God remind me of a Scripture. That is, to do as the evil leaders say, but not as they do. I had to obey the man, like it or not. But I trusted God to work things out. I didn’t yet know that these present visible circumstances were a parable for a hurt I got back in high school.
While the above was going on, I was in turmoil, tossing and turning at night, trying to think of a way to get things straightened out. I did not want to lose the lady I loved. Meanwhile, I had just “happened” to come upon my old collection of records, and began playing those sad old love songs. A friend and I were talking and we discussed a certain perfume I liked on ladies, one that had long gone off the market. She told me where I could find some in an antique shop. We talked on and I told her about my high school girlfriend who used to wear that perfume, not yet knowing I was participating in bring up hidden bitterness in me.
I found the antique shop and bought the perfume. Smelling it brought up horrible pains from my innermost being. I had thought I was past caring about the girlfriend and was surprised at how I felt. About this time, I got the news that my school buddy had just died. He was the one who had taken my girl from me, the girly who wore that perfume. He had done it in a sneaky manner, and was afraid that I would beat him up when I found out. He went to all our mutual friends and told his version of the story, gaining their support in case I came after him.
Then one night he asked me to talk with him when all the guys were around, and he told me about he and my girlfriend had “just fallen in love, accidentally.” He told me the girl was afraid to tell me herself, and did not want to face me. Our pals took up for his side, and told me not to fight him. I had no choice but to just take the pain of my loss, and bury it deep within. For years, the thoughts about this came back up, but I stuffed them back down, in bitterness.
Now in my present situation, I suddenly saw the parallel of the two stories. I realized God had arranged all the present details to bring up unfinished business from my bitter past. I was feeling exactly the same emotions now as I had back then. But this time, God had set me up to bring proper closure.
I was in my workshop, busily working, but the pondering still going on, a constant companion. Then suddenly, my friend rushed in and told me she had just heard a word from God about me. She told me I still had a cord tied to my past. A vision came immediately, and I saw what looked like an umbilical cord going from my belly all the way back to those past events. I realized then how much that cord had affected my relationships with others, and I was filled with remorse.
That night, I went to a homegroup meeting. There, I confessed to them about the cord, and how it had affected me in relationships. I asked for that cord to be cut. And it was cut. After that, the sad old songs lost their effect. That perfume no longer smelled good to me. And the pain and tossing and turning at night stopped. No, it did not stop me from loving the present lady, nor did I win her. Nor did the man ever repent. Yes, I saw the parables in that of Jesus coming for His own, but being rejected because of evil leaders’ influence.
But I got valuable information about how God takes one through healings. Did you see the “coincidences” that God arranged? There were far more than I put on paper here. This was a valuable lesson to help me through the coming and even deeper healings, and there were many more to come. It was much later that I came to know that when finished with each healing, certain affected demons had no choice but to leave. God confirmed this in many ways, even once allowing me to feel two of them burst through my chest as they left.
I see a vision to describe the many healings we go through. I see it as a diamond in the rough, an ugly stone that needs to be ground to a high finish to become valuable. Diamonds are ground with facets, flat areas that reflect the light, making them sparkle. But each facet is only at a slightly different angle from the one next to it. So, often when you go through a healing, it will seem exactly like one you went through before. But in time, you will find it has a slightly different angle, a slightly different way demons took over the emotions. The grinding is painful, but the result is sparkling, reflecting the light of the Lord.
This is our mask shield that we present to the world to see about us:
These are some of the minor giants behind our shield:
These are some of the major giants behind the minor giants:
These are vows we make, to one day show we are significant, after all:
These are the hidden results of our feelings of rejection and our selfishness:
These are the results of having the spirit of shame in us, even from birth:
This is the root of all our iniquity:
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