Mk. 3:15 π Lk. 23:34 π Jn. 1:12 π Jn. 13:34 π Jn. 18:36 π Acts 9:13-15 π Acts 19:14-16 π 1 Cor. 10:13 π Gal. 5:22-23; 2nd; 3rd π 2 Ths. 2:11-12 π 2 Tim. 3:1-5 π 2 Tim. 3:2 π 2 Tim. 3:5 π 2 Pet. 1:5-9 π 1 Jn. 2:21; 2nd π Rev. 21:8
The hypothetical narcissist’s true self wrote:
“I reached a point where I had to make a choice. In order to survive, I had to sacrifice my humanity. I didn’t want to do it, but I felt like I had to. I didn’t want to be hurt anymore. I had to sell my soul.”
( Letter From a Narcissist’s True Self )
Believe it or not, to someone who knows the reality of the devil and the demonic, this hypothetical confession actually presents a ray of hope for the narcissist’s soul to be saved and their life to be redeemed. But this ray of hope is slim indeed.
The false self is essentially a defense mechanism that takes on a “life” of its own. It is built of things that the child is not: it is essentially a “super man” persona that no real person can ever live up to. Its greatest spiritual weakness, however, is that it is a fiction, a lie. “No lie is of the truth.” ( 1 Jn. 2:21; top ) This false self is built up in response to either abuse or exaltation wherein the child is extremely reduced, often in extreme or severe situations, from being an individual to a mere possession at the mercy and disposal of an authority figure of some kind. The false self can thus, in later life, be any series or fragments of contradictions and inconsistencies and, until these contradictions and inconsistencies become apparent, noticeably damaging (to oneself and/or to others) or self-defeating, this extremely unhealthy coping strategy can go on virtually unnoticed or at least unconfronted for years, even decades. But in its original construction, the false self is simply a pact made with the devil and the demonic in order to gain power through darkness and deception so as to survive extreme situations and pressures.
Many narcissist’s are religious but they are not spiritual, certainly not living in or by the Spirit of God. Thus they can quote (or yell or even scream) Bible verses ad nauseum (especially their favorites with which they routinely beat and bully their victims) but they have no genuine fruit of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” ( Gal. 5:22-23 ) Most narcissists, especially the “Christian” ones, are more in line with Paul’s description of the perilous end times and are those who possess a form (façade) of godliness but lack the power to actually be like Christ – those whom we should have nothing to do with. ( 2 Tim. 3:1-5; top )
But consider the nature of salvation. It is a “contract,” a covenant between God and an individual. “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name.” ( Jn. 1:12; top ) We who have believed in His name and have received Him are given the “contractual” right to be a child of God, a child who progressively takes on the characteristics of the heavenly Father and of Christ Jesus. This is no mere religious practice – it is a supernatural, spiritual transformation. This transformation is simply not available to anyone whose regular identity is only a lie, a lie they have been for so long that they can never access their true self without enormous difficulty or even at all.
The slim ray of hope is found in the fact that the false self is usually created before the child reaches what some call the age of accountability, an age that probably cannot be legalistically pinned down in mere numbers but rather must be expressed in terms of having reached an age where one should know right and wrong and be accountable for their behaviors. Many narcissists who later come to rely on and live out from their false self have also been exposed to the truths of Christ before this age of accountability. But in the extremity of their abusive and dysfunctional childhood situations, they don’t turn to Christ and God for help but rather turn to darkness and deception, using the same kind of turning to darkness and deception children wrongfully utilize to avoid consequences – and the demonic is right there to help them construct the lie that is their false self. Narcissism, rightly called self-love in the Bible ( 2 Tim. 3:2; top ), is very prevalent in children – selfishness and childishness is something that must be trained out of a child. Narcissism is simply selfishness and childishness honed to a razor’s edge and practiced with adult levels of cleverness and ferocity and enhanced with demonic deception, insight and cruelty.
Yet, consider the nature of a contract. If a child walks onto a car lot and signs papers to buy a vehicle, that child is not of age and the contract cannot be enforced from either side, neither by the buyer nor the seller. Any child who truly asks Christ to come into their life at a young age has made a child’s decision for Christ. But that is not an adult decision to follow Christ. That is only a child’s attraction to the beauty that Christ is, a beauty that is often more easily spiritually visible to a child than to an adult. For an adult to receive Christ’s salvation and to truly participate in His kingdom, there must be, at the least, an adult, spiritual “ratification” of that childhood decision. The genuineness of that “ratification” or adult decision will be seen in the progressive production of the fruit of God’s Spirit. (again Gal. 5:22-23 , also see 2 Pet. 1:5-9; top )
But so too is the false self, the bargain made with the devil and the demonic, this is also a child’s bargain. The false self can be superficially religious but, because it is a lie and “no lie is of the truth” ( 1 Jn. 2:21 ), it cannot be genuinely spiritual. The false self can never understand the things of God. The facades, the false self, are only demonically enabled lies. The false self, the personality of the narcissist, is the lie. The person is the weapon the demonic is using against his or her own life and against their own family members. The false self, the learned, demonically created personality of the narcissist, can never understand what God intends. Jesus will speak to the true self but He will never speak to, nor try to reason with, nor ever work with the false self. No lie is of the truth. Jesus is the King of truth ( Jn. 18:36 ) and He will permit no liar to remain in His kingdom. ( Rev. 21:8; top )
Any narcissist who wants to be truly saved by Christ and God must ask God to restrain their false self and allow only their true self to call out to Jesus. Since most narcissists cannot even admit to having, let alone being almost completely and only a false self – a complete lie – this is not at all likely to happen ever in the narcissist’s lifetime. But to any narcissist who will embrace reality, God has promised that with every temptation there is a way of escape. ( 1 Cor. 10:13; top ) Even those who have lived their lives in narcissistic abusive roles can find Christ but, to say the least, this will be no simple “sinner’s prayer” (a thing which does not exist in the New Testament anyway!)
There is no guarantee that the narcissist will even be able to survive the shock of the moment he or she discovers that his entire life is a lie – but allowing the true self to genuinely connect with Christ is the only hope for life eternal and abundant. There simply is no hope whatsoever for the false self – it must be crucified because it is made of flesh and lies. This means that all of the narcissist’s personality, tactics, expectations, understandings and coping strategies must die at the cross of Christ. The only alternative available to the narcissist is to continue to selfishly try to self-medicate their true soul’s pain away and to continue to try to intellectually grasp and understand the incomprehensible love, mercy and grace of God so that they might try to accumulate that knowledge into their false self’s arsenal of weapons to use against those they claim to love and who love them. And the narcissist will in this way more than earn his or her rightful place in hell, perhaps right next to their Dad or Mom (who was a narcissist too) whom they have vehemently sworn to never be like.
In view here are the deeply laid demonic schemes to make Paul’s prophecy of perilous times come into existence. The demonic have concocted an almost foolproof method by which it is all but impossible for the narcissist to enter into the new life that Christ offers. But simply because many will perish because they have no love of the truth ( 2 Ths. 2:11-12 ) does not mean there is no hope whatsoever for all narcissists. That would be completely inconsistent with the unfathomable love, mercy and grace of God in Christ Jesus. Anyone who finds it impossible to forgive the narcissist who has damaged or even destroyed them does not yet know Christ as they ought to – Christ cried out from the cross for mercy for the narcissists (lovers of self) who murdered Him! ( Lk. 23:34 ) Anyone who will not accept that God might forgive such heinous acts as narcissists routinely commit does not yet recognize their own sinful nature and depravity before God. Certainly God does not forgive someone just to leave them in their previous condition – and those whom He truly forgives and who remain loyal to Him must produce genuine fruit of His Spirit (again Gal. 5:22-23 ) and they must have a genuine, spiritual love for others that is the same as the love Christ had for us. ( Jn. 13:34 ) Anything else is just another façade of the narcissist’s false self and this – and the person – is what we must abandon. ( 2 Tim. 3:5; top ) It has been rightly said that forgiveness deals with the past and requires only one person but reconciliation deals with the present and requires two people – while trust deals with the future and requires the one who has violated another’s trust to make full and complete restitutions.
But if the narcissist’s true self, as stunted and emotionally retarded as it may be and likely hiding in some buried, dungeon room in the darkened depths of the narcissist’s soul, if that true self now rejects the demonic and chooses Jesus, the adult narcissist will yet find eternal life even if temporal life is denied them because the shock of entering into light and reality is simply too great to bear.
A word of caution is greatly in order here. Only – and this must be repeated – only the Holy Spirit can orchestrate the confrontation and surrender and genuine spiritual rebirth of a narcissist. This is not a strategy that one can take up without the direction of the Holy Spirit and will likely occur only after at least a long season of prayer over the matter. It is certainly not a strategy available to the mental health profession! One who is in Christ can cast out demons or heal sicknesses based on the delegated authority Christ gave ( Mk. 3:15 ) but anyone who rashly seeks out a narcissist to attempt to get him to submit to this process is asking for a worse beating than was given to the sons of Sceva. ( Acts 19:14-16 ) Only one who knows he has been personally commissioned by the Lord to confront the narcissist (as was Ananias called to restore Saul of Tarsus – Acts 9:13-15; top ) will be preserved from or at least sustained through all the harm the narcissist may unleash.
So, the odds that a narcissist can ever be truly born again and saved and redeemed are greatly against such a thing ever happening. With mere men and carnal, psycho-analytical rules and tools it is completely impossible – the best the mental health care profession offers to a narcissist is limited behavior modification and, if the false self is ever shattered, lengthy reparenting therapy that might result in some better coping mechanisms and skills – almost all mental health professionals recommend complete and total separation (no contact, period) from the narcissist. But with God all things are possible, however unlikely. That is, after all, the nature of God’s unfathomable love, mercy and grace.
Let he who has ears hear.
- Shop Vacs: A Picture of Codependency - Neil Girrard - ( in Adobe/pdf format ) A picture can still sometimes be worth a thousand words. A parable of these issues points toward liberty in Christ.
- Narcissism: A Spiritual Perspective - Neil Girrard - ( in Adobe/pdf format ) Sam Vaknin’s picture of the false self of narcissism presents good insights as well as exposes the schemes of the demonic to separate the narcissist away from Christ.
- Pyramid or Team Yoking - Neil Girrard - ( in Adobe/pdf format ) One of the most damaging paradigms in the spiritual realms is that of authority and the picture most often used is worldly and spiritually incompatible to the kingdom of God.
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